"X-Files" star David Duchovny makes his feature directorial debut with "House of D," an utterly bizarre and pretty terrible coming-of-age film. It begins with about 20 straight minutes of penis references, and then introduces Robin Williams in arguably his worst performance as a mentally challenged janitor wearing prosthetic teeth.

Duchovny stars as the grown-up Tommy Warshaw, living in present-day Paris. He decides to revisit his old New York stomping grounds, which he suddenly left when he was just 13. That leads to 1970s flashbacks in which young Tommy (Anton Yelchin) roams around with Pappass (Williams) and gets advice from a lady prisoner (Erykah Badu) in the Brooklyn "House of D" (i.e. prison). Duchovny's real-life wife Téa Leoni plays Tommy's mother in the flashbacks.

Yelchin has such a unique delivery that the film almost takes off during its middle third, finding a few genuinely tender moments, but then it sinks into maudlin, near-campy sentiment at the end. It's almost bad enough to rank in "Showgirls" territory, but not quite, although it's definitely nipping closely at the heels of "Gigli." More likely, "House of D" will be forgotten, which is good for Duchovny if he hopes to direct again.